And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
