Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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