Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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