I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
