3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
