I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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