I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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