Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize