yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just gift wrapped bread.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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