Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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