I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and she was petting her beer can
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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