Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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