Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
