is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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