No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This is my gift to your gina
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
