I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
