I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
