the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
