i think i have two assholes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I will pee on everything he values.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
