his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
