i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You need a sexual gate keeper
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
