That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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