I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
