pedialite and red bull = repair kit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
