I need help removing her.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
