i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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