Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
