Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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