Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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