I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
