Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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