shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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