I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
someone owes me an orgasm
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
