I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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