Please, let me fuck your mom
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
