a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
