Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I take back everything I said about communal showers
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
