I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
