dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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