dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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