he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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