She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
