I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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