So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
