i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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