The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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