Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
