So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize