your thong is hanging out like whoa
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
