Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Say something about gay babies.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
