So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
