I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
