Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
