Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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