I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize