their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
