when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize