Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
