See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
