Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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