you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
