I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
