My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
