Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
