I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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