At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
