i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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