If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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