well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
