Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
