I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
