You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
