There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize