Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
